The Sim-Pull Steam Cooker

Fictional Item

Name: Sim-Pull Steam Cooker
Category: Kitchen Appliance
Size/weight: 2ft tall, 20lbs
Rarity: Common
Value: Cheap
Uses: To cook food utilizing the safe, clean power of steam!

Description (ca. 1921):
Come one, come all and witness this marvel of modern engineering! Observe as this food is cooked, quick and easy, through the power of steam! Simply place your favorite, ready to cook meal up on the top, add water to the tank below, add some heat, and behold in wonder! As the water starts to boil, simply PULL this release above the tank and pure steam will rise up to perform miracles! As the steam rises, these copper pipes will heat up around your meal and in no time at all, you will have a delectable, perfectly cooked meal! Be careful not to touch the pipes, we only want the food to be cooked, right?!

Now, dear friend, you might be wondering: why do I need steam to cook my food? Well the answer is quite simple, my dear, sweet friend! Steam, the future of all technology, is the purest form of energy! Steam is free from the negative energies you find in the heat from your oven and stove that cause every known malady including cholera, tuberculosis, phossy jaw, dysentery, bad breath, and homosexuality! By cooking with steam, you ensure your food only contain the positive energies that make them taste so great! And All you need to do to save yourself is simply PULL!

Be warned, my dearest, sweetest, loving friend, there are some foolish, ignorant fools who would contest the facts I have presented to you today! To that I say... well... uh... screw those guys!

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